


Secrets, Secrets

by bjrit92



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Directly following 13x13, Established Relationship, F/M, Gabriel!Wump, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 21:19:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13796568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjrit92/pseuds/bjrit92
Summary: The boys were keeping something from you, and you were about at your wits end. All the whispers, the shooting glances, the secrets. What was so major that 1) they couldn't stop talking about it and 2) they wouldn't tell you?





	Secrets, Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one-shot I wrote immediately after watching 13x13. I took the concept of this little ficlet and turned it into Rehab For An Angel, so this could be considered a backbone to that chapter fic. I debated about posting it, but I like the raw emotion in it, so I figured, why not? Enjoy, and much love! <3

They're hiding something from me. I know it. The last few days...I'll enter a room and conversation will pause and switch to something they think is casual. They whisper and steal glances my way that they don't think I notice. It almost makes me self-conscious. I've taken to pausing around the corner before I enter a room, to see if I catch anything. Snippets of forbidden conversation, at least to my ears. You would think, after almost a decade of hunting together, three years of living together, there would be no secrets.

 

What I have heard, I can't make sense of. They've found something, of that much I'm sure. What it is, where it is, and why they can't (won't) tell me? I have no idea. I think I caught that sonofabitch Asmodaeus's name once or twice. If he has anything to do with this it can't be good. Which is why I deserve to know, dammit!

 

"That's IT!" I snapped as I rounded the corner into the library. I've clearly heard my name this time. The three men in front of me freeze, obviously caught off-guard by my abrupt entrance and obvious anger. "I have a right to know what it is you're hiding from me, especially when it involves me." Sam put on his 'calming' face and I immediately dismissed it with a look that makes him throw his hands in the air in surrender. "It has been a week and you three have barely spoken to me. The only times you've even looked at me is if I've interrupted your secret whisper meetings. What the hell is going on and why can't I know about it?"

 

Sam gave Dean a look that says he knew this would happen. I raised a demanding eyebrow at Dean, who sighs, relenting. "We....look, (y/n), it's not that easy. We found something, okay? Something big. But it's also messy and locked up tight so we've been trying to figure out a way to...procure it."

 

I folded my arms together, waiting for the rest of it. He seemed to get the message and continued.

 

"You're right that it involves you, but it's more complicated than that. It's a long story and we're trying to tackle it one step at a time. Okay?"

 

"Um, no. Not okay," I replied. "That's barely more than I already knew from eavesdropping. What did you find?"

 

The boys exchanged a look between them. This couldn't be good. More apprehensive, I asked again, "what did you find?"

 

Castiel stepped forward.

 

"Gabriel. We found Gabriel. He's alive, (y/n)."

 

The world stopped moving. My eyes lost focus and all I could hear was a rushing in my ears with the faintest muffles that sounded like the boys speaking but I couldn't hear the words they were saying. A sensation of falling and then arms holding me and then softness, the couch? My thoughts were losing focus. Gabriel. We found Gabriel. He's alive. 

 

Alive. 

 

Alive. 

 

Gabriel. 

 

We found. 

 

Found Gabriel. 

 

Alive. 

 

Gabriel.

 

*************

 

"....wake her?"

 

"She's not asleep, Dean."

 

"She's been in that weird trance for a few minutes now."

 

"Can you blame her?"

 

Gabriel.

 

*************

 

When I came-to I was sitting on the couch, leaned against some pillows. A glass of water sat on the side table next to me. A movement to my right drew my attention.

 

"How you holding up?" Sam asked comfortingly.

 

"Sam..." I hated how small my voice sounded, "what do you mean you found Gabriel?"

 

Dean spoke up from the corner, I hadn't noticed him.

 

"Evil Colonel Sanders has a dungeon of sorts, in Hell. Apparently he has a special cell...one made especially for archangels. Ketch was introduced to him. When he was back topside, he immediately came to us. We did some poking and it's true. Gabriel is alive, probably has been for years."

 

"I'm sorry, (y/n)," Sam placed a hand on my shoulder. It confused me.

 

"Sorry?"

 

Cas was sitting on the armchair, I hadn't noticed him either until he leaned forward to speak. "(Y/n)...it is not a good place down there. Gabriel...we don't know how long he's been there. It's likely that he's been tortured. Intensely and unrelentingly. It's likely--" he stopped at a gesture from Dean that I couldn't see, as my eyes blurred from the tears and breathing became difficult. Dean crouched in front of me and put his hand on my free shoulder.

 

"I'm not going to lie to you, (y/n). It's bad. In all reality...he may not be the same Gabriel you knew. We--"

 

"Stop. Please stop talking."

 

I couldn't handle it anymore. I stood and walked out of the room. Before I got to the door, Dean called out to me, "hey," I stopped. "We're going to get him out of there."

 

"You had better."

 

I left.

 

*************

 

It had been three days. There was an unspoken pact between the four of us that they don't speak to me until I spoke to them, which I hadn't. I had barely left my room, barely eaten, barely slept. My subconscious had become my worst enemy, providing dreams of that beautiful, laughing face twisted in agony. It was second only to the self-inflicted torture my brain had provided during my waking hours, dredging up old memories, ones I had even forgotten alongside the favorites, for a never-ending slideshow of Gabriel. Gabriel laughing. Gabriel telling jokes and playing pranks. Gabriel sitting next to me on the couch. Gabriel being stern and serious. The softness in his face when he kissed me. Gabriel helping me cook in the kitchen. The heat in his eyes when our bodies entwined. Gabriel reading passages from the Bible aloud to me. The love when I woke up next to him in the mornings. The crooked smile he would get when I would surprise him with a comeback or a prank of my own. It had taken me so many years to push those memories down and relearn how to function when he died. Thank Chuck for Sam and Dean, because without them I surely would be dead, either by my own hand or by simple starvation. 

 

There were such conflicting emotions writhing within me. Pure, unmasked pain at the memory of his death. Unadulterated joy at the idea that he could be alive and I could have him back after all these years. Total, all-consuming agony at the knowledge that my Gabriel could be gone forever, replaced with a tortured husk of the glorious, mighty, playful archangel I once knew. 

 

Rinse, repeat.

 

Something crashed down the hallway. It startled me out of my thoughts, but I didn't move until I heard the panicked voices. I couldn't make out what they were saying, it sounded like a struggle. I walked toward my door, my hand subconsciously drawing my gun from under my pillow as I moved away from it. I opened the door and leaned out, I could make out Dean's voice, it sounded like he was commanding something? Sam's voice in response, another crash. A yell--

 

I stopped cold, and immediately started running toward the commotion.

 

I hadn't heard that voice in eight years but I would know it anywhere. The fact that it wasn't words but a strangled yell that it was making didn't cross my mind.

 

The doors to the dungeon (as the boys liked to call it) were open. Blurs of plaid and arms and kicking legs and the rattle of chains and more yelling and blood and a flash of matted blonde hair and suddenly Sam was practically pushing me from the room and I was fighting to get back inside and Sam picked me up and carried me back toward my room and when did I start crying?

 

I don't know how long I sat on Sam's lap sobbing into his shirt. I finally calmed, but kept my head resting on his chest. He seemed to sense that I needed the comfort he was providing like a lifeline and continued to rub my back (when did he start?). After minutes/hours I choked out "why the dungeon?"

 

Sam sighed. "He's not in his right mind. He doesn't understand where he is or what's happening. I don't think he even knows who we are. To be safe, until he calms down, we need to keep him locked up."

 

I nod softly in response. I don't know what else to do. It makes sense. It confirms what I knew was possible: he's not my Gabriel right now. But that doesn't mean my Gabriel isn't still in there somewhere.

 

"Can I see him?"

 

"Not yet."

 

***********

 

It had been two days. Two days that my heart, like it was connected by a string, was constantly being pulled toward the dungeon. I could physically feel the pull. My soul was aching for its celestial mate and it hurt. I tried to ignore it. Pretended not to notice when Castiel would disappear to the dungeon for what seemed like hours at a time. Sam and Dean were walking eggshells around me. I trusted Sam. I knew they would let me see him soon. I just wish I knew how soon. I wouldn't be able to stay away much longer.

 

************

 

A week had passed and I hadn't seen him. Twice I had been caught sneaking toward the dungeon. Dean and Castiel had both explained that he was healing, and while he understood that he wasn't in the cell anymore and conscious of where and who he was as well as who they were, he was still volatile and prone to fits. The boys had started taking watch outside the doors, whether to keep him in or me out, I couldn't say.

 

The clock blinked 2:30am. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't pretend he wasn't here. I got up from my bed and walked quietly down the hallway. I got to the door and was greeted by a sleepy Sam. He had been on the floor, leaning against the wall. He stood as I approached. He looked down at me with an apologetic face, the words ready on his lips.

 

"Sam...please."

 

Something in my voice must have struck him. He clenched his jaw and studied my face for a moment before sighing.

 

"I....alright. Five minutes. Okay, (y/n)? Don't tell Dean and Cas."

 

With tears in my eyes I lunged forward and hugged the behemoth. He wrapped his arms around me, returning the hug.

 

"Thank you, Sam."

 

Sam opened the door as quietly as he could. I stepped inside and he closed it behind me. My breath caught at the sight in front of me. The dungeon had been turned into a sort of makeshift hospital. There were jars and vials of substances I didn't know stacked on tables littered with tools and syringes surrounding a rusty hospital bed they had somehow procured. The figure on the bed had all of my attention. The long, unkempt hair was less matted with blood than it had been when I'd glimpsed it a week before. He was so, so thin. Too thin. My Gabriel loved sweets and snacks and food in general. Seeing him this way was so untrue to who he was it shook me to my core. He was lying on his side, his back to me. I thought he was asleep until he spoke.

 

"A little early for back rubs and girl talk, huh, Sammy?"

 

His voice was so hollow, a shell of what it used to be. The words were a joke but the voice had lost any trace of humor. It rendered me speechless. When he didn't get an answer, he rolled over and sat up. His eyes met mine and my heart contracted at the sight of his face. His eyes were haunted, long devoid of any mischievous spark. There were strange markings around his lips, I couldn't tell what--oh my god. Oh my GOD. Had they sewn his mouth shut? Healing cuts and bruises littered every inch of skin I could see. Tears filled my eyes.

 

He didn't speak for a moment and the worst crossed my mind. Please, Chuck, let him remember me. I couldn't bear the thought of him not knowing me, however possible it probably was. 

 

"...(y/n)?..."

 

I let out a choked sigh of relief, "hello, Gabriel."

 

***********

 

"Sam? Sam what the hell? Wake up!"

 

Sam started awake at the sound of Dean's voice. Shit. He had fallen asleep. And you were still inside! He thought you were, at least. Hopefully, you had left after he had fallen asleep.

 

Sam got to his feet, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

 

"Now that you've gotten your beauty rest, lets get in there and check up on Feathers. I know (Y/N) is climbing the walls to see him. Maybe we can let her in today, if he's well enough."

 

Sam guiltily glanced toward the door before he could stop himself. Dean caught the movement and his eyes widened with realization.

 

"Sam. You didn't. Come on, man!"

 

Dean immediately grabbed the handle of the door to the dungeon and pushed, gun drawn, Sam followed closely behind and unsheathing his own weapon, hoping you weren't still in there and they weren't about to walk in to find you dead via your tortured-to-the-brink-of-insanity-ex-lover.

 

What they saw instead stopped them in their tracks. Lying peacefully in the bed were you and Gabriel. You were sound asleep, wrapped tightly around the angel. Angels don't sleep, but anyone would think Gabriel was just as unconscious, his only tells being his gentle stroking of your hair and the quick glance he gave toward the door as it opened before closing his eyes once again.

 

Quietly, in the most lifelike voice the boys had heard since they had cut the cords binding his lips, they heard, "wake her up and I'll smite you."


End file.
